Dear Inquisitive Stranger,
There is a school of thought that makes me happy: creativity makes the world go round.
If creativity is king, being an original is revered. In these times, we are encouraged to cultivate critical thinking and authentic thought which may be reflected in our style of dress or approach to environmental issues.
There are times, however, that following the crowd seems like just plain common sense; getting an education, not poking a rattlesnake, being polite to a policeman, going to sleep when the sun goes to bed.
Yet, staying up past our bedtime is a thrilling hangover from our youth. As the cloak of velvet night sweeps across the sky, it brings with it the promise of illicit thrills – dancing at the disco, naughty snogs, midnight feasts. The fun stuff goes down after the sun has kissed the horizon goodnight yet humans are biologically built to get some shut eye when it is dark outside.
Blame our non-nocturnal eyeballs. Killjoys.
It feels mischievous to stay up all night long, (Lionel Richie championed this belief) yet the older we get, the more we saviour bedtime. Hard to believe it kids, but those times your parents marched you upstairs is less about your essential 8 hours kip and more about their desire to exit stage right to Snoozeville.
Aaah Sleep, fold me in your luxurious silks! Retire to the boudoir and slip between cool sheets. Eyes droop with drunken sleepiness as Captain Shuteye’s sailboat drifts to slumber’s shores……
And nothing happens.
You lay there and lay there. Nope.
You pummel the pillows. Nada.
You flip the sheets. Zip.
You do that spinning around palaver that dogs do before slumping into bed with a groan. Zilcho.
Sleep has taken the night off without a permission slip.
Those that walk among us that have experienced jet lag are well versed in this tragedy.
Apart from cleaning the fridge, jet lag is one of my least favourite activities. Why hasn’t anyone invented an awesome pillow that guarantees to combat this fiend, or a solo-play board game for when you are bored in bed? Pick it up at the duty free.
So how to pass the time? You could shop online for bananas from Tesco or boys from Tinder. Feel free, provided the blue light burning your pupils into a groggy funk is soothing.
Read a book, watch a movie film, write a letter? Excellent suggestions if you want to stimulate your brain and spend even more time lallygagging in the wrong time zone.
So what to do, what to do? Like all diagnosable and non-diagnosable malaise, the internet has something to say about it. There are opinions galore on ways to combat the jet lag menace. Take a homely-smelling pillow case on the plane, quaff carrot juice on the flight, make fists with your toes after landing (thanks Bruce Willis), do a headstand in the arrivals hall…
Phewf! Well, sorry to hit you with the truth but the reality is that until your body clock is realigned you are in for a few bland nights of ceiling staring. You just have to suck it up, mate.
During the transition, the lack of sleep can play havoc with a gal’s complexion. At this time, the looking glass is best avoided but if you can’t quit the mirror, your doctor advises to keep glances to under 5 seconds and not to operate any heavy machinery immediately after use.
The best course of action is to draw attention away from eye bags with fancy lips. Serious scarlet, mighty magenta, ostentatious orange, peppery pink, super shiny, mighty matt, velvety velour. The shade and texture are moot. Just glam up your face with a shot of bright colour. Colleague’s comments will evolve from, ‘Yikes, you look whack!’ to ‘Wowser! Looks like date night tonight!’
Never underestimate the power of the lipstick. Anytime, anyplace, lipstick is a fabulous idea. Whatever the question, lipstick is the answer.
In fact, don’t save sassy lips for just jet lag days. Get them revving daytime, night time, anytime.
So, Stranger darling, I write to you wearing a glamorous shade that is doing a marvellous job of distracting eyeballs from my jet lagged peepers. Meanwhile, I am leaving a trace of my lips on the rim of a green tea latte. Back in the day, Gran’s remedy for a sleepless night was to warm a pan of milk to lull me to slumber, so I have come to ‘1989 Bistro’ for soothing creature comforts. The lovely proprietor, Jason, greets all customers as if they are old chums joining him for eats in his living room. Nothing is too much trouble and witnessing his big grin as he tosses burgers in the open-plan kitchen, tells me those patties are made with your recommended daily dose of devotion.
Well, if this latte doesn’t soothe me to sleep I shall be back to ‘1989 Bistro’ for a congenial gin and tonic. Jason’s generosity splashes into his cocktails too, therefore one highball should be the tranquilizer dart needed to bring on the zzzs.
Until then, I shall rock this jet lag with a flourish of ‘Lady Danger’ lips. That should get the attention of the appropriate folks. Well, hello there Mr Sandman!
Peace and love and cha cha cha.
1989 Bistro – friendly faces, food and the place for insomnia
260-95 Itaewon-dong, Yongsan-gu, Seoul
Noksapyeong station, line 6, exit 2
Monday – Sunday 13:00-02:00
Insomnia Girl – your best friend to help you through jet lag times and any time.